Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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