I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
