who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
