i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
