We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
