one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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