But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
