You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My feet surprised me
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