The maid of honor just puked.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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