we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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