He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
