I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
