i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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