whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
