I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
