why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
