i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
