Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
