i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This gyro tastes like lonliness
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
