On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
