you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
