Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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