It's Friday. Sex?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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