You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
