apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
