To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
