; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
