And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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