they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
