At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
