Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
