would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
