I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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