Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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