The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
