worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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