dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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