Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Fuck appropriateness.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
