First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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