Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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