The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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