That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
