I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
