Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
