I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
too bad you live with your parents still
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
