Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
