i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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