Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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