i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
