Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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