Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
