Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
