I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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