Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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