didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He told me they were just razor bumps!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
