That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
