Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
