Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is wine microwaveable?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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